I’ve always held strong opinions on women’s rights, particularly women’s sexualities and autonomies. I was determined to work for a non-profit on these issues and work towards a positive shift and change. At 22, fresh out of University, I got to do exactly that.

I was forehead-deep in policies, language, and politics of this space:  learning who was who and who’d been around for just how long; picking up acronyms; researching things for important sounding papers; and deciphering the strange secret language of this world.

It was my dream job.

I got to travel across the world, talking about the things I believed in so strongly. I got to work with amazing people and obsess over words and their meanings. I got to go to the United Nations and exchange polite barbs with people who disagreed with me to their very core.

It was exhilarating and for the next five years, I learnt and I grew and I loved it and believed in it with every fibre of my being.

And yet, I’ve resigned.

It isn’t that I don’t still love what I do or believe in it. It isn’t that I don’t have an amazing team who are more family than they are colleagues (I do!). It’s just that it’s time for me to go.

I struggled with the decision for a long time- months and months of insecure waffling about whether to put my resignation in or if I was being foolish. I tried to list all the reasons why I wanted to leave:

• I’ve done this for five years and I need to try something new
• I need new experiences and perspectives to make me better at what I do
• I think it’s time for someone else to have a chance to do what I do now
• My learning curve has plateaued.
• I’m ready to move on.

And it’s the last two that are the most important to recognise. I don’t think there are any ‘signs’ for when it comes to realising that what you want to work on and how you want to work on it has shifted, that you’re thirsty for new experiences, and that; quite simply; you’re ready to leave. And that’s completely OK- it’s nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be sorry about; it’s another step to realising the things you want for yourself.

I don’t hold stock with the old principle of being in a job until you retire or die, I think we’re meant to try new things and challenge ourselves in every aspect of our lives- jobs included. If we spend more than half of our every day at work, I think it needs to be something that challenges you every day and makes you grow. I was beginning to get bored, the motivation was harder to find, and I felt as though I wasn’t coming up with anything new or insightful- I wasn’t, in fact, doing my job anymore.

It’s a hard realisation and a difficult step to take: to leave the comfort of a safe space- one that you’ve contributed to and built alongside people you trust and love. It’s terrifying to wonder if unemployment is a temporary pit-stop or if you’re going to languish on your parents’ sofa for the better part of the next six months.  It’s difficult and it’s scary and it’s downright panic-inducing, but I’d rather feel all that than start to resent something I have always loved.

So, I resigned.

Couchsurfing is a simple enough idea: which one of us hasn’t kipped on a friend’s sofa/floor when visiting them? But what if you’re visiting a city you don’t know anyone in? You could go the hotel route, hostels are always a choice, or you could- if you’re feeling adventurous enough- sleep in a complete stranger’s home.

Couchsurfing.org (or CS as those in the know, call it) don’t see people you don’t know as strangers, but as ‘friends you haven’t met yet’. It’s a heartwarming idea- that the world is full of wonderful people just waiting to befriend you, and given CS’ particular ‘travel’ bent; that it’s full of people excited about travelling and discovering other cultures and other worlds.

Even in today’s hyper-connected, ‘online is the new in-person’ world it can be a bit nerve-wracking to show up in a new city and live with a stranger, or be the person opening up their home to complete unknowns. Just about anyone can sign-up to be on CS, but with security and verification steps in place; it’s easier to filter people and figure out what you’re comfortable with. I think going with your gut instinct is important, no matter what the references say!

I’ve been on CS for a few years now and have been enormously lucky to be hosted by some extremely cool people, as well as meet some locals who’re more than happy to show me around their city! Sure, it’s a ‘free couch’ to kip on, but CS is about more than just that, in fact I wouldn’t even put that down as the primary reason to be on CS. It has definitely been a great way to explore places and do things that aren’t in any guidebook or tripadvisor reviews. It’s also left me with some really positive feelings about places, making me feel as though I always have a sofa to kip on and a friendly face to look forward to.

CS isn’t just about the ‘couch’, it’s also a great way to meet people when you move to a new city/country. With every cross-continental move I’ve made over the past few years, I’ve turned to CS to find events to attend and people to organise trips with. It’s one way to really feel at ‘home’ in a new place, but it’s also a way to explore it- try the touristy things that you say you’ll do ‘some day’ because you take it for granted as you ‘live’ there, find new venues for concerts or discover a new band. I’ve met and befriended some of my closest friends through CS and I believe that it speaks to CS’ vision of a world ‘full of friends you haven’t met yet’.

That isn’t to say that CS is the greatest thing since ice cream sandwiches, I know a few people who’ve had some terrible experiences; only to be told that ‘you must be more careful’. As I said earlier, CS can be wonderful; but always go with your gut instinct. If I don’t find a ‘couch’ that doesn’t have enough positive references (and usually, positive references tend to gush rather than just polite appreciation), isn’t vouched for, hasn’t attended local CS gatherings, or if none of them ‘feel right’; I prefer booking myself into a hostel and instead, attending a CS gathering. It’s important- as with all travel related things- to trust yourself and your instincts. It’s OK if you’re wrong- no harm done.

Having said that though, it isn’t just the ‘free sofa’ in a strange city that draws people to CS- I think, underneath all the explanations, it’s the idea that people are actually pretty damn awesome, no matter where in the world they live. And that’s worth giving CS a shot- whether it is by hosting, by surfing, or just hanging out for a cup of coffee.

There are very few jobs in existence that do not include the use of the telephone. It doesn’t matter if you work in construction, are an entrepreneur, or work in a restaurant -at some point, you are going to have to use a telephone. I have a pet peeve. It is a very specialized pet peeve; one that has been honed and intensified with each passing year that I have been employed.

People don’t know how to use voicemail. 

It sounds far-fetched, I know. In theory, leaving a voicemail is a very easy task. Somehow, though, people manage to muck it up pretty much every time they use it. I have heard everything from people audibly chewing food in a message, to wannabe auctioneers speaking so fast that the entire message sounds like a high-pitched hum, to people forgetting to leave their name and/or number. Somehow a skill that is so essential to our everyday lives has not made it into the middle school curriculum, let alone being taught at a company orientation.

Leaving Voicemails For Others

• Don’t ramble. Leave your name, phone number, company name (if pertinent to the call), and a brief description of why you’re calling. And by brief, I mean sum it up in one sentence.
• Don’t include the date and time of your call. This is something that has been a standard feature included in every North American and European voice messaging system that I have come across, so stating yourself comes across as pompous–your time is not more important than anyone else’s!
• Do give the recipient a few hours to answer. While it may be an emergency from where you are standing, chances are they have several other ‘emergencies’ to deal with as well. Under no circumstances are you to leave more than one voicemail in a three hour period. If you feel that your call is really that important, follow your message up with a more detailed email.
• Do speak slowly when leaving your phone number. There is nothing more irritating than having to listen to a voicemail three times, and only figuring it out with the assistance of two colleagues and/or trial and error. It is always wise to repeat your name and number (slowly) after you briefly state the reason for your call.

Your Own Voicemails

• Check your mailbox regularly. Personally, I prefer not to check it as soon as the light starts flashing. I wait until I finish my current task, and then focus on the message that was left for me. This keeps me from becoming distracted, or leaving tasks incomplete. 
• Schedule time during your day to focus on answering voicemails. I do this within the first hour of arriving at the office when possible so that I can take care of them before my midday rush.
• If you receive a voicemail that is meant for a coworker, and if your phone system allows, transfer the original message to their voicemail. Ideally you will also be able to preface the client message with your own, letting your co-worker know that it came to you by mistake. If your system will not allow this, then the next best thing is to send an email as soon as possible to your coworker, so that they can provide proper contact information to the client.
• If you do not have time to respond to a voicemail within 24 hours, either send the client an email explaining the situation or ask a coworker with the same skillset as you to respond on your behalf. After 24 hours a client will feel as if they are not being taken care of and will attempt to contact you again–this time, they won’t use their friendly voice.
• Try dedicating a notebook to voicemails. This has helped me immensely with keeping on top of the vast number of voicemails that I receive! It allows me to keep all of the details in one place (and in order!) in case I need to refer back to my notes. I always include the date and time of the voicemail, any contact information left, the reason for the call, and a few blank lines for notes during the callback.

How do you keep yourself organized in the workplace?

Hi. It’s Calee. Bet you didn’t expect to see me here. Normally I’m your go-to gal for fitness stuff, but believe it or not, I’m a huge fan of food too. So I asked the usual CIY columnist, Kelly, if I could hijack her topic every once in a while to bring you some recipes I’ve pinned then tried.

Recently I discovered Indian food. Which has lead to my obsessive consumption of Indian food. Namely, chana masala.

I can’t get enough. In fact, I recently declared it my new comfort food — replacing the tried-and-true pot roast. Yes. It’s that good. And it’s a lot healthier.

I got tired of spending money at our local Indian joints, so I decided to try my hand at making my own chana masala. So, I consulted one of my go-to recipe consultants for good renditions of classic recipes — Smitten Kitchen (Alton Brown is my other consultant).

[image from Smitten Kitchen]

I love everything about this recipe. Throw everything into one pot? Yes. Bonus points: you can leave the pot on the stove for a few days and eat leftovers that way. That’s the ultimate in lazy cooking.

Though I followed the recipe verbatim, the chickpeas (or garbanzo beans, if you’re into that) were much tougher than what I was used to having at Indian restaurants. I tried the same recipe a second time, but let everything simmer for an extra few hours in the dutch oven on our stovetop. No dice. Beans were still tough.

I realized it wasn’t the recipe’s fault the beans were so tough. It was the bean’s fault. I decided to put this recipe aside for a while.

Meanwhile, I read “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” by Michael Pollan, which sent me on a 2-3 week obsession with only eating fresh food — nothing canned, frozen, etc. Although a little silly, that’s what ultimately lead to my breakthrough with chana masala.

Though, it didn’t lead to my breakthrough with food photography. Still waiting on that one. 

I discovered the secret to good chana masala is using dry beans. 

The third — and best, so far — time I made chana masala, I made some changes to the original recipe. I used dry beans, and fresh tomatoes. I also used 3 jalepeño peppers.

SO good. So easy. So spicy.

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Have you tried Indian food? And have you pinned any recipes that you tried, then improved? 

Bad timing?  You and him just started dating — dating — this murky comprehensive label that could be better referred to as this purgatory of “are we?” “are we not?” “are you?” “do I?” Actually, now that you think about it, you’re not only in an unofficial relationship, you’re not even sure if you’re officially dating. Then the anxiety sinks in when you learn that he has an upcoming birthday. As if a woman isn’t already plagued with questions about doing too much or too little, she now worries about giving too much or too little birthday attention. Perhaps you’re three-months deep in exclusivity. Should you get a bunch of birthday decorations and deck out his apartment? Or does that sound like you want him to step inside Tiffany’s to glance at diamond rings. Too much, too soon? Who knows? We do.

Follow these birthday celebration and gift giving don’ts for your hookup buddy, unofficial boyfriend or committed significant other:

Don’t Be Presumptuous

It’s better to aim low. If your relationship consists of the “late-night rendezvous” kind, then there shouldn’t be any second-guessing where you stand. It is what it is, and this guy is probably going out for drinks with his buddies. You may or may not be on the agenda once the clock strikes midnight.

Do ask casually if he plans to celebrate if the subject matter arises; send a friendly “happy birthday” text on his special day.

Don’t Play the Girlfriend Role Just Yet

Possession will overstep your boundaries if you’ve only dated for a few weeks. During a birthday dinner or party, treat him like a good friend. Avoid clinging to his side or being possessive over his attention.

Do come with a bottle of wine and birthday card. Mingle with friends and chat with your date here and there.

Don’t Make a Huge Celebratory Production

Haven’t had “the talk?” Is he without birthday plans? Watch going overboard with your party-planning ideas. He’d love a surprise party! No. I’ll make reservations for a romantic dinner? No. A watch or J.Crew button-down shirt will be great gift ideas. No.

Do offer to take him out to a birthday drink during happy hour. Dress and heels unnecessary.

Don’t Feel Obligated

If you’re three months together and without an official title, attending an intimate dinner or group celebration with close friends isn’t mandatory. Without that couple status, you’re also not entitled to get him a birthday present, although a card is necessary.

Do acknowledge his birthday and celebrate in some fashion. In lieu of a large group setting, invite him to your place for a glass of wine and cupcakes. Small gestures, such as toasting with drinks and indulging in dessert, are thoughtful, yet not necessarily too meaningful to the point that you think you’re together forever.

Don’t Spend a Lot of Money

So you’re a solid, yet new couple. You’ve been together for six months and unquestionably, you’re celebrating his birthday together. You can expect to accompany him to all his birthday plans, whether you’re going to dinner with friends or attending a family party. Along with dinner and/or drinks, you’ll be expected to give a gift. Steer clear of extravagant items like an iPad, although I’m sure he’d appreciate one…

Do plan in advance and take into account how expensive or inexpensive dinner, drinks or a party will be. Inexpensive gifts like a funny dude book or a bottle of tequila will make him happy.

I’ve chronicled parts of my never-ending saga with visas on Twenties Hacker before (here and here), and it’s barely put a dent in the battles I’ve waged in airports and Home Affairs offices in the last year. Through it all, however, I’ve learnt a fair number of lessons on patience, smiling whilst gritting my teeth, and importantly- on ‘must-do’ preparations before I travel. There are just some things, I’ve learnt, I cannot skip over because ‘I can’t be arsed’ isn’t a good enough excuse for an immigration officer.

The biggest lesson I’ve learnt is to make sure I have all the right pieces of paper. It doesn’t matter if it sounds a bit stupid to have a visa issued by an embassy in my passport and carry around a hard copy of a letter of invitation or return/onward ticket to show the immigration officer.

Lesson number two?  It doesn’t matter if I think it’s stupid. Nobody cares. If I want to get in the country, if someone asks me to jump, I’d better ask if they’d like me to click my heels while I’m at it.

Lesson three? It isn’t just your visa that immigration officials care about. They want to see your return/onward ticket, your letter of invitation, your hotel reservations, your vaccination certificates…

I know. It’s an impossible list- how are you supposed to know what you need for which country? It doesn’t always say on your ticket or even on your visa form. Embassies, bless their existence with all things fairydust, aren’t always on the ball about these things either.

I’ve discovered, much to my relief, the IATA Travel Centre which is a wonderful tool that will tell you whether or not you need a visa before you can catch your flight or whether it is visa on arrival, whether you need certain vaccinations or an onward ticket. It has saved my life/sanity on a number of occasions. Travel agents, airports, and airline agencies use this as well! It’s constantly updated so it reflects the latest visa regulations/necessities.

It’s also a great way to figure out whether you have to pay airport tax (or whether you’re being fleeced!) or if you’re going to get in trouble for carrying more bottles of wine than you’re legally allowed (er…).

What are your must-dos as part of your travel prep? Share your insights and trade secrets?

Normally I don’t just lazily repost content from my personal blog. I try to bring you the freshest content here.

But recently, I posted safety tips for runners on my personal blog (life + running). And I think those safety tips are helpful for anybody and everybody — regardless of if you’re a runner or not.

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I started reading Shut up + Run sometime this summer after seeing the author’s short bio on twitter.

Beth, from Shut up + Run, lost her cousin Sherry to a tragic running accident earlier this year. Beth has become a major voice for running safely, and has written several posts about this topic, and has even organized a charity run in Sherry’s memory. Right about when I started reading, Beth wrote another running tragedy (after Sherry’s) and shared some really great safety tips (that even non-runners can follow).

I wanted to pin the article and share it around social media, but she didn’t have an image on her post. So I did what every graphic designer would do: create my own images (with appropriate credit to the original author), and send them along to Beth.

And now I’m sharing these tips with you, so you can share them across social media, and together we can hopefully educate others on how to be super-safe runners (and walkers, bikers, and people in general) and avoid tragic incidents like Sherry’s.

And for the record, yes, women ARE more likely to be attacked. I’m not being sexist, it’s just statistics. It doesn’t matter how badass and buff you are, you never know if the attacker is carrying a weapon, and if a particularly sneaky one immobilizes you before you can break out your guns, it’s all over.

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Oh, and here’s a sweet playlist to enjoy on your next outing.

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Do you run? Have you ever been scared when running or walking outside?

[ source for featured image ]

Today’s guest post is from Ivan and makes me remember my first girls-only-vacation to Europe when I was just 16…those were the days **le sigh**.

Benidorm is arguably the favourite Spanish destination for British holidaymakers; a vibrant, fun resort that’s been a magnet for holidaymakers for almost five decades. Visitors are drawn back time and time again to this Costa Blanca town by the superb nightlife, excellent eateries and the great variety of accommodation. But perhaps Benidorm’s greatest selling point is its beaches many people consider that the are best beaches in Benidorm.

The three main beaches form a golden crescent that stretches for around 6km and together they offer the 1.5 million UK visitors who head to Benidorm every year a selection of beautiful places for bathing, water sports and soaking up the sun.

Once More on to the Beach

Benidorm’s three main beaches are Levante, Poniente and Malpas.

Levante is the most family friendly, a long stretch of sand that’s known as the sunrise beach. With plenty of sun beds and umbrellas to offer protection from the summer sun, Levante is also great for safe swimming for all ages. A little further out to sea you’ll find a veritable water play park for the more adventurous, including rafts, slides and diving boards. And when you’ve had enough of the sun, sand and sea, take a stroll along the wide promenade and dip in and out of the many bars, restaurants and shops.

Poniente beach is located to the west of Levante and is a little less crowded. Again, it offers lots of sand and plenty of beach-based facilities to keep even the most hyperactive of holidaymakers happy. The revitalised promenade has plenty of shops, bars and eateries to choose from.

Close to the harbour is Malpas beach, a much smaller expanse of sand than the other two and also a lot less busy. Head here if you want to be far from the madding crowds but still want the Benidorm beach experience. All three beaches offer great water sports, including windsurfing, kite surfing and sailing.

Fun for All the Family

Benidorm has a wealth of great activities for all ages and so if you get bored with the beach, you’ll have no trouble finding something fun to do. There are several massive water parks and theme parks that are ideal for kids. Or take a boat trip out to the Isla de Benidorm wildlife sanctuary offshore.

When it comes to bars, restaurants and clubs, Benidorm really is in a league of its own. Cafes and restaurants offer every type of cuisine, from local tapas to bangers and mash for the homesick, Chinese and Indian. And as soon as the sun goes down, Benidorm comes to life – its nightlife is famed along the Costa Blanca for its dazzling Vegas-style cabaret shows, karaoke bars and clubs where the music plays until the sun comes up.

And when the sun does come up, it’s time to remember that the best beaches in the Mediterranean are in Benidorm, so head back to the sands and start the holiday fun all over again.

It’s an age-old question, right? Or at least as age-old as long as we’ve been giving gifts for people who are tough to shop for.

What do you get the person who has everything? 

And I’ve discovered the answer. You don’t get these friends and family members things they won’t use, things that will collect dust, or clothes that they’ll grow tired of or just exchange for something else. For these folks, and really, for anyone on your gift-getting list, this year consider buying experiences instead of things.

Cloud 9 Living is one such company providing experience gifts for the adventure-lovers, foodies, oenophiles, and those looking for a little indulgence this holiday season. As of right now, they’re in 43 cities in the US.

I wouldn’t recommend something or someone I didn’t love myself, and I’ve recently worked with this company and have enjoyed two of these experiences. The first of these was the Best of Brooklyn Culture and Food Tour. Let me just say that you will ALWAYS have my attention with the words “food tour.” I’ve done one with Portland Walking Tours, and now this one in Brooklyn, and hope to do many, many  more in many different cities always and forever.

I especially loved this tour because while I’ve been to New York City five or six times, I’ve spent an extremely limited amount of time in Brooklyn (like, three hours, total). I’d always wanted to get over there, but whatever reasons I was in NYC in the first place kept me on the island. This tour was an excellent introduction to what is a much larger area than I’d ever remembered. We hit one non-Brooklyn place on the way out of Manhattan (Yonah Shimmel Knish Bakery), and it was totally worth the extra time it took to stop there as I’d never had knish before. We hit a Polish place in Williamsburg, ate a delicious Cuban sandwich in Sunset Park, and sampled amazingly tiny and creative truffles in Dumbo, next to the Brooklyn Bridge Park.

Here at home in Portland, I spent Saturday of Thanksgiving Weekend on a Scenic Columbia River Gorge and Hood River Vineyard Tour. This is a complete package of a tour (transportation included, historic information about the area, stops at beautifully scening lookout points, and three of Hood River’s finest tasting rooms, all led by a knowledgeable and fun tour guide from a local tour company).

So, how can you take advantage of this? Check out the available experiences in your city and the cities of your loved ones, AND be sure to enter their 9 Days of Christmas contest, with 9 days of prizes and experiences to give away. Here are the details:

Contest Details – 9 Days of Christmas Contest

For 9 days, from December 16th through the 24th, Cloud 9 Living will draw one daily winner for the following prizes, culminating with the Grand Prize drawing on December 24th.

• Day 1 Prize: Flight – Learn to Fly
• Day 2 Prize: Relaxation – Spa Package
• Day 3 Prize: Driving – Drive a Stock Car & Stock Car Ride Along
• Day 4 Prize: Foodie – Food Tour for Two
• Day 5 Prize: Golf – Golf Lesson with a PGA Pro
• Day 6 Prize: Romance – Dinner Cruise for Two
• Day 7 Prize: Adventure – White Water Rafting for Two
• Day 8 Prize: Adrenaline – Tandem Skydiving
• Day 9 Prize (GRAND PRIZE): Experience of a Lifetime – Fighter Pilot for a Day

Good luck!

Disclaimer: Cloud9Living provided both of these experiences, and I agreed to help promote the contest. All opinions are my own. For more on Cloud 9 Living’s contest terms and conditions, please visit their website.

Photo credit: All photos are my own.

Every holiday seasons I go overboard buying new decorations…and every Christmas I vow that the following year I will not buy anything.  Obviously…every year that doesn’t happen.

This year I’ve decided to change that.

From now on I’m only buying one new tree decoration and one other item every holiday season (because, really, asking me to just buy a single decoration is just stupid).  This is good on two levels.  Firstly it means that our house wont collapse under the strain of boxes labelled “holiday junk” and secondly it means I have to put a little more thought and shopping-power into the new additions.  This may all sound crazy, but at the moment it seems like a great idea.  Oh, I nearly forgot, it means I can actually get away with spending a little more as well.  Extra points for that one.

So…this years contenders?

I adore these gothic style festive fairy tale baubles by Emma Molony.  I found them last year but decided they were a little expensive (when added to all the other decorations I was buying!!).  This year however, they’re a definite possibility.  You can buy them here.

If you buy a new box of decorations every year eventually you’ll have to have them up all year round because you will fast run out of space to store them all!