No matter how much we obsessively plan our post-graduate lives, there’s usually something that comes along and throws things off track.
That thing could be good (a promotion, that crazy perfect relationship, discovering that you actually like blueberries) or it could be downright awful (being laid off out of nowhere, falling out with old friends, realizing your family isn’t as perfect as you thought.)
As an expert in dramatic realizations (both good and bad) I’ve come up with a comprehensive list of things to try when you’re at one of those crossroads in life.
- Cry. (Expert tip: listening to Elliott Smith or whoever your favorite middle school band was gives you a great head start!)
- Puke. (Only if you have to, duh. But really…emotions, am I right?)
- Take a nap.
- Take two naps. (NOT FOR NAP NOVICES)
- Call your parents/best friend/old friend/cousin/hair dresser/whoever. (Just talk to someone, alright? Jeez.)
- Go for a walk.
- Go for a run.
- Dramatically kick something when you’re caught up in a feelings fit. (Can be celebratory or anger-induced.)
- Force yourself to try something new, like taking a burlesque class or drinking dark beer.
- Make out with someone. (Recommended that you know the person, or that they’re at least funny/cute/nice enough/of your species.)
- Take another nap.
- Go to the library for learning AND air conditioning.
- Listen to Tom Hanks’ voice for a while.
- Get up early on the weekend just because.
- Stay up late on a weeknight for the same reasoning.
- Send someone a hand-written letter. (Bonus points for using stickers or glitter.)
- Tell people you’re doing yoga, but really just flail around on a yoga mat for a half hour while listening to rap.
- Stand in front of a mirror and try to mimic Laura Dern’s insane looking crying face.
- Buy something. (Anything!)
- Make a list of things to do when you don’t know what to do.
- Take one more nap.
So, I can’t guarantee this list will work (except for the Laura Dern face suggestion- hilarious.) But what I can promise is that we’ll all end up just fine, because really…what else am I going to do?
(Ps. Feel free to leave your suggestions below. FOR A FRIEND, OK?!)